January 13, 2011
My body is completely exhausted! I laid down tonight and I finally felt my whole body relax. I must be all tensed up during the day. Haha. Campaigns are exhausting, but very rewarding at the same time. I love being able to help so many people- it gives me a sense of purpose and that feels good.
I know I’ve said this every day- but I’ve literally given hundreds of shots this week. I think I’m the best ampoule breaker ever. Haha. Nearly all of our shots are in the glass ampoules that you have to break the top off of. I’m an expert. Haha :) I’m learning so much about meds and I’ve had so much practice with my medical Spanish. I think this whole experience is going to help me so much with my job- and that’s really exciting to me!
I feel like my mind set has gone in stages this year. When I first got here I remember hating it and wanting to go home. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to make it. But then the other SM’s showed up and we got about a month into it and I started feeling better and I decided that this was my new home for a little while and I could make it. I was good for a little while, and then some traumatic events happened in my life and I began to question why I was here. And I began to want to go home again. This semester it seems to have started over again. I made it through break and was very happy and it was so refreshing to see my dad. Then after that was a horrible week of just struggling to make it through one day without crying. I just wanted to get out of here and go home so bad. This was just last week! I actually almost thought I was going to go through with it. But after this week I know I can’t leave. Our group is so small as it is, and if I left I know I would feel bad and guilty. I’m not one to quit things in the middle. I’ve done a lot of thinking about this… I fought with myself all week last week. Not that I’ve completely and perfectly changed my mindset in one week, but this week was much better and I do feel like I can make it now. I mean, it’s already the middle of January so I only have 4 months left. I can do that. Also, I’m so thankful for this group of SM’s- I know that God put us together for a reason.