January 2, 2011
Feliz ano nuevo. Wow. I can’t believe it. So much has happened in the past year. And here is another one to greet us already. Last semester was really tough for me… I’ve been having a really hard time lately. I’m debating whether or not to post my last blog. It was very honest about how I’ve been feeling lately. It was a bit strong, but I guess that’s what honest is sometimes…
I had a very splendid Christmas break travelling about Peru and Bolivia with my dad and 4 other girls. We made a lot of memories! It was sooo good to see my dad too; I just wanted to get in his suitcase and go home with him.
Honestly, I’ve been feeling really down lately. I just want to go home. I feel like I’ve lost motivation for being here and I just don’t feel like myself. It’s a bit hard to explain and I don’t think you’ll really know what I mean unless you’ve been in a situation like this.
I was talking to my parents last night and of course they willingly gave all the parental advice about how you can do it, your stronger than you think, second semester is better, and you’ll be home before you know it. I appreciate it but right now I don’t feel like that at all. Then my dad said- Rachel, you know the answer, you just have to put your mind to it and find it. You CAN do it. I was in a tearful mess and didn’t really want to hear anything like that at all. But now that I think about it- he’s right. I really do have to change my thoughts toward the rest of this year if it is going to be better. The only way I can make it is with God’s help, but it’s my attitude as well. Whew, this is A LOT easier said than done…
I’m going to make a list of things that I like about Peru-
-the cold showers, my skin and hair feel great and it’s the only time I’m not sweating :)
-the simple, easygoing lifestyle
-how people just invite you into their houses even if they don’t know you
-the endless supply of papaya
-the experience I’m getting in the clinic
-the other SM’s here
-not having to study for tests all the time
-being able to experience a VERY different way of life than I’m used to
-riding in the back of the pickup
-the Doctor and Shirley and their support
-learning to cook everything from scratch
-not being on such a strict schedule, I can be “late” somewhere, but on Peruvian time I’m early or on time
-wearing less makeup and not worrying about what clothes to wear- shorts/skirt and tank top-everyday
-getting packages, emails, letters, notes from friends and family
-learning to trust God more with everything
-the fact that it is 2.81 soles to one dollar, living is so much cheaper!
-movie nights with everyone
-playing the “social games” with the kids
-playing my uke for Sabbath School and singing kid songs in Spanish
-the fact that you never have time to say/think “I can’t do..whatever” you just have to DO IT!
-assisting in surgeries
-the super cool outfits that the jungle ladies wear- they are so colorful and handmade and awesome
-squat pots; no mess, no stress
-time to read books
-$3 hair cuts
-a full meal for $2 or less
-coffee ice cream
-maracuya juice, mmm mmm good.
-singing hymns in Spanish
-when the Peruvian guys make us beans and rice
-hugs from dirty little kids
-the thankful look on people’s faces after coming to the clinic and when they say God Bless You and give me a hug
-skyping my parents and Mitchell
-how it’s so easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger
-seeing about 50 Peruvians stuffed into a van, or that time we stuffed like 25 in our truck
-the green jungle all around our property
-the generous spirit of so many people here
-the support from sooo many people at home
Well, I guess there are a lot of things here that I love and will miss. That’s 43 and I’m sure there are some that I missed.
God is good and I’m going to keep praying. I want to end this year well. I really appreciate your continued prayers and support. Thank you sooo much.