Tuesday, November 23, 2010


November 21, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Tis the season… I really cannot believe that Thanksgiving is already this Thursday! It just doesn’t seem right because it’s so hot here, there are no decorations out, I haven’t seen the leaves on the trees changing colors…. Oh I miss home soooo much.
This week has been a tough one. I’ve missed home even more than normal. I was doing pretty well for a while there- not that I didn’t miss home, but I was doing good and enjoying it here. I’m honestly feeling a little burnt out. Let me explain. Lauren, Steph, and I have to move to KM 8 to live there for the rest of the year. We have small property there that we have turned into a clinic and we are working there with the new doctor (Cecelia) who just got here. The living conditions are anything but classy. We sort of have running water- as in it only runs at certain times and we never know when or how long. We have a nasty outhouse that is almost full. We have no washer or fridge- so that means no washing our clothes except by hand or when we go back to 38 on Sunday, and no good place to store food. There are a million huge spiders that we have to share our room with, and we have to cram 4 girls into one room. And we have no telephone, as of now.
On top of that, we are expected to work in the clinic everyday and do public health things in the evening. That consists of holding classes and probably doing home visits as well. Then on Sabbath we are supposed to hold a church service at the site. Remember, there are only 4 of us…
Now, I’m not trying to complain and make this sound horrible. But I am human and I do have a limit of what I can handle. With all of those responsibilities it leaves no time for us to do anything for ourselves. Not that I just want to go out and have fun all the time and not care about work, but I think it’s important to have a little time for yourself every now and again. I’m just feeling a bit frustrated and mostly just worn out. I don’t know if this week was harder than most because I’m missing home a lot, but I feel like I’m getting burnt out… There is never time to rest… And I’ve had a lot of personal things happen in my life since I’ve been here and I don’t feel like I’ve had any time to heal from them. Then daily frustrations come into play and everything just starts to pile up… Then sometimes I just break down, or I feel like I’m going to break down.
I’m just exhausted in every way- emotionally, physically, mentally…. This is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Then I think about it- I came here to serve and I really want to do that. I want to make an impact on these people and build strong relationships with them. I want to show them Jesus. I know the only way I’m going to be able to do this is by putting all my faith in God. Steph preached this Sabbath about the verse in Deuteronomy 6:5, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.” That is really, really giving ALL you have to God, and putting your ALL into everything you do, because everything you do is for the Lord. I try to picture God with me every day and act as if he was standing right with me because, really, he is. And would I act the same if he was right there? That’s something to think about… It can be a hard thing to do- certainly easier to say than to do…
It’s a challenge- life. But with God, I CAN do anything. Please continue to send up prayers for me. And not only me, but my whole team as well.
Well, I really need to head to bed… Hasta mañana…

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