February 28, 2011
Yesterday was an exciting and busy day and surprisingly I wanted to blog last night, but after 2 episodes of House and writing a letter to Mitchell I ran out of time. :) So, here's the news.
We were at KM 38 for Sabbath and all of us were planning on coming to KM 8 in the morning because the guys are going to work on the house for Matson this week. Dr. Matson is coming in 2 weeks and all of the construction he wanted done still stands unfinished. So, like most projects here they have waited until the very last minute to work on things. Typical. Anyway, we were in the truck on the way back and because of all the rain we've had recently the road to our property at KM 8 is an absolute disaster. Because of this, we decided to take a different road- the "back way". It ended in tragedy. The truck got stuck in the mud and we were towing the trailer with a load of wood on it and so that was stuck too. It took about 30 minutes of pushing, pulling, and grunting to get the truck out. The trailer however was still stuck in the mud, so we had to carry all the wood about a block to our property! It was really heavy and the scorching Peruvian sun was beating down on us. Talk about a morning work out! After we got all the wood off of the trailer the guys had to pull the trailer out of the mud themselves. It was pretty impressive. It will never cease to make me laugh at how things NEVER go as planned here. But, everytime things get messed up we just keep going, doing things a different, usually harder way, but everything gets done miraculously! haha :)
In the evening our rottweiler, Peely, had her puppies! At about 6 in the evening she had her first one and by 7 o'clock she had 3 little puppies. Two girls and one boy. I was worried because one of the puppies was noticably much larger than the other two. I thought the little ones were going to die. They couldn't seem to find their way close enough to mom to nurse. The big one however found the food right away. Then today my fears came true- on of the little ones died. :( I hate the "wild", it's so sad. I don't like it when little baby animals die and there is nothing I could have done to help!
Now, for a little short story- Our constant source of laughter around here is our little cockapoo (cocker spaniel/poodle mix) puppy Maggie (or Dragon Breath, or the monster,Brat Pack, or Lady Gaga or whatever we happen to call her :)). She is a little mischevious thing and she's only the size of my flip flop. A black and white bundle of joy, she always keeps us on our toes. She loves to eat- in fact, tonight it looks like she has swallowed a baseball. When you're only the size of a chipmunk, the stomach the size of baseball is quite impressive. I like having a goofy little puppy around, she's good for lightening everyone's mood. She also works as a therapy dog in the clinic and in dental. We love our little Maggie Moo, even with all of her antics.
Today is the last day of February. I can't believe it! I'm so excited! Only 2 more months and I'll be home! :) As I look back on my time here I've realized that I'm not the same girl who showed up here 7 months ago. I've learned more and experienced more living here than I think some people will experience in a lifetime. I remember being so scared and nervous about everything when I got here in August. Now, all of those things are just second nature it seems. For instance, I've grown up in a family and society of planning. We all follow schedules, plan trips, plan school, plan, plan, plan... Here, I think the word "plan" is non-exsistent. And as much as I hated that at first, I've grown accustomed to it now. Things always work themselves out in the end. Sometimes I don't believe that they will, but honestly, they always do. I really understand that verse in Matthew that says "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." It just makes live eaiser when you're not always worried about what is going to happen. I'm not saying that we should drop planning things all together, because of course things do NEED to be planned. But I think what I've really learned is patience and trust. If something doesn't start right on time, then just be patient and start when everyone is there. If you get stuck in the mud, then start pushing not complaining. If someone invites themselves over for a meal unexpected, then make some extra rice. ;) If you don't know where you're going to get money to pay for meds, then pray and stop worrying. If someone finds you on Sabbath morning and asks you to do special music, then sing a hymn acapella with a good friend- everyone will like it. If you planned to meet with someone and they don't show up, then go buy your self an ice cream cone and reschedule for next week. :) Thank you Peru for teaching me how to take things as they come.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
sensational.
February 25, 2011
Well, honestly sensational is not the word I would use to describe my feelings or situation right now, but i really like the word so I'm going to try to make that how I'm feeling now.
This week has been a struggle for me. I just haven't felt like myself at all and it's been hard to deal with others when I don't know how to deal with myself. But, I'm not here to have a pity party so lets move on.
We had clinic this morning and surprisingly finished early! Then I made macaroni and cheese with big franks for lunch! It was soooo good!! It tasted even better here than it does at home. I miss veggie meat sooo much. Peru is not an exactly vegetarian friendly place to live. So, that was a nice treat. I am so thankful that Pastor Rich was able to bring down the rest of our Christmas plunder from UC. :) We are stocked up on some yummy food. Thank you everyone who put stuff in our boxes! :) You've made our Christmas last all the way through February and we are sooo thankful!!! This afternoon Steph and I headed to Pucallpa to run errands and use the internet. I got to talk to my parents and Mitchell, and that made my afternoon much brighter. :) My dad gave me a tour of my own house. As silly as it sounds it was so nice to see my house again! I really miss it. It was good to see that it hadn't really changed. It's hard to be here and know that everyone else at home is going on without you. I mean, obviously they have to, there is no pause button for life. But it felt good to see something familiar that was just the way I remembered it. I'm getting so anxious to go home.
Now, I'm jammin to some Selah and I think I'm going to work on my hat some more. Oh, I learned how to crochet hats this week so I'm helping Steph make hats for all of our friends around here that want one. It's really fun, I love crocheting. It's a good activity for me. :)
Happy Sabbath.
Well, honestly sensational is not the word I would use to describe my feelings or situation right now, but i really like the word so I'm going to try to make that how I'm feeling now.
This week has been a struggle for me. I just haven't felt like myself at all and it's been hard to deal with others when I don't know how to deal with myself. But, I'm not here to have a pity party so lets move on.
We had clinic this morning and surprisingly finished early! Then I made macaroni and cheese with big franks for lunch! It was soooo good!! It tasted even better here than it does at home. I miss veggie meat sooo much. Peru is not an exactly vegetarian friendly place to live. So, that was a nice treat. I am so thankful that Pastor Rich was able to bring down the rest of our Christmas plunder from UC. :) We are stocked up on some yummy food. Thank you everyone who put stuff in our boxes! :) You've made our Christmas last all the way through February and we are sooo thankful!!! This afternoon Steph and I headed to Pucallpa to run errands and use the internet. I got to talk to my parents and Mitchell, and that made my afternoon much brighter. :) My dad gave me a tour of my own house. As silly as it sounds it was so nice to see my house again! I really miss it. It was good to see that it hadn't really changed. It's hard to be here and know that everyone else at home is going on without you. I mean, obviously they have to, there is no pause button for life. But it felt good to see something familiar that was just the way I remembered it. I'm getting so anxious to go home.
Now, I'm jammin to some Selah and I think I'm going to work on my hat some more. Oh, I learned how to crochet hats this week so I'm helping Steph make hats for all of our friends around here that want one. It's really fun, I love crocheting. It's a good activity for me. :)
Happy Sabbath.
journey.
February 13, 2011
So, today was Jenessa's birthday so we went to KM 38 and had a big party for her tonight! We made our "typical" birthday dinner- tostadas and delicious maracuya juice, and Hanna made 2 cakes for her. A bunch of people were there and it ended up being really fun.
After the party we had to come back to KM 8 because of clinic on Monday morning, plus Wendy came with us and she needed to get home. Well, we left late- like after 10.. There is a new rule with the truck too and it can only be used for "emergencies" so they couldn't even take us to Campo. So...Steph, Lauren, Wendy, Wendy, and I started walking. It was super dark- pretty much only the light of the moon to guide us. Haha. There are no street lights out by where we live so i'm being serious. Of course, there was hardly any traffic- ok, there was pretty much NO traffic. Once motocar passed us going the other way and he was empty but we tried to flag him down and he wouldn't stop. We walked a little longer and then saw headlights coming behind us. We flagged down what we thought was going to be a taxi- it wasn't. It was a family coming back from a party. They stopped for us and asked where we were going and we told them we just needed to get to Campo so that we could catch a taxi to Pucallpa. They agreed to take us there but when we got to Campo there were no taxis! The man driving told us that they were headed to Pucallpa anyway and that they would be willing to take us if we would wait a few minutes while they grabbed some soup to eat. It seemed to be our only option, so we agreed and thanked them for their kindness. It was quite the ride back. I think the man was a little bit drunk.. Not too bad, but it was driving a bit erratically, and he cranked up his music till I thought I was going to go deaf, and you could smell that lovely scent of alcohol on his breath. I was praying the whole way back. Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of traffic and we made to the entrance of KM 8 safely. Usually there are a ton of motocars at the entrance of 8, even at night there are usually a few... But tonight, there were none!! So, we started walking again. It was a challenge because the road is so horrible and super muddy from all the rain. We only walked a little ways when we saw a taxi coming up behind us. They picked us up and took us almost all the way home. The awesomest part of this whole journey was that it was FREE! :) haha. So yeah, that's about it. :)
So, today was Jenessa's birthday so we went to KM 38 and had a big party for her tonight! We made our "typical" birthday dinner- tostadas and delicious maracuya juice, and Hanna made 2 cakes for her. A bunch of people were there and it ended up being really fun.
After the party we had to come back to KM 8 because of clinic on Monday morning, plus Wendy came with us and she needed to get home. Well, we left late- like after 10.. There is a new rule with the truck too and it can only be used for "emergencies" so they couldn't even take us to Campo. So...Steph, Lauren, Wendy, Wendy, and I started walking. It was super dark- pretty much only the light of the moon to guide us. Haha. There are no street lights out by where we live so i'm being serious. Of course, there was hardly any traffic- ok, there was pretty much NO traffic. Once motocar passed us going the other way and he was empty but we tried to flag him down and he wouldn't stop. We walked a little longer and then saw headlights coming behind us. We flagged down what we thought was going to be a taxi- it wasn't. It was a family coming back from a party. They stopped for us and asked where we were going and we told them we just needed to get to Campo so that we could catch a taxi to Pucallpa. They agreed to take us there but when we got to Campo there were no taxis! The man driving told us that they were headed to Pucallpa anyway and that they would be willing to take us if we would wait a few minutes while they grabbed some soup to eat. It seemed to be our only option, so we agreed and thanked them for their kindness. It was quite the ride back. I think the man was a little bit drunk.. Not too bad, but it was driving a bit erratically, and he cranked up his music till I thought I was going to go deaf, and you could smell that lovely scent of alcohol on his breath. I was praying the whole way back. Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of traffic and we made to the entrance of KM 8 safely. Usually there are a ton of motocars at the entrance of 8, even at night there are usually a few... But tonight, there were none!! So, we started walking again. It was a challenge because the road is so horrible and super muddy from all the rain. We only walked a little ways when we saw a taxi coming up behind us. They picked us up and took us almost all the way home. The awesomest part of this whole journey was that it was FREE! :) haha. So yeah, that's about it. :)
revelation.
February 12, 2011
I got the call. GG died late Friday night.. She just fell asleep, she wasn't in pain. I just can't believe she's gone. My family didn't even make it in time to say goodbye. I know she loved Jesus and I know I'll see her again but it doesn't really ease the pain right now...
I want to go home so bad. I feel like I don't even know what to do now... No one understands. I'm thankful for everyone here and for the hugs but I want to be with my family so bad it hurts. It's not fair that I have to go thru this alone here. I feel so lost and alone. And confused almost... I can't put a word on it... I just miss my family more than ever...
THIS SUCKS.
Lauren and Hanna told me something tonight that did help... God never asked us to be strong enough to go through things like this on our own. He's always here. ..... It's still hard.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. -Revelation 21:4
I can't wait for that day.
I got the call. GG died late Friday night.. She just fell asleep, she wasn't in pain. I just can't believe she's gone. My family didn't even make it in time to say goodbye. I know she loved Jesus and I know I'll see her again but it doesn't really ease the pain right now...
I want to go home so bad. I feel like I don't even know what to do now... No one understands. I'm thankful for everyone here and for the hugs but I want to be with my family so bad it hurts. It's not fair that I have to go thru this alone here. I feel so lost and alone. And confused almost... I can't put a word on it... I just miss my family more than ever...
THIS SUCKS.
Lauren and Hanna told me something tonight that did help... God never asked us to be strong enough to go through things like this on our own. He's always here. ..... It's still hard.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. -Revelation 21:4
I can't wait for that day.
helpless.
February 11, 2011
Where to start... It's Friday night and I'm tucked into my mosquito net for the night. I'm listening to some music, I just read a great devotion, and looked at the picture of me and Mitchell that acts as my bookmark. It made me realize once again how much I miss him. It's A LOT. I'm really missing my family a ton right now. My mom called me on Wednesday night and told me GG was not doing well at all and they didn't even know if she was going to make it through the night. My family flew out to Cali to say their goodbyes, I haven't heard anymore from them yet... And here I am, stuck in Peru. I can't do anything. This is the third family member that has died since I've been here... I haven't gotten "the call" yet but i have this feeling that it's coming all too soon... I just don't even know how to feel or how to grieve here... There is not a time or place. I mean, the other SM's have been/try to be supportive but it's just not the same. All I want to do is be with my family.. I miss them SSOOOO much. May first could not get here soon enough... My parents always tell me I'm strong and I can do it and I need to stay focused on my work here but it's so hard. I feel lost and helpless.. I can't really even find the right words to explain how I feel...
Where to start... It's Friday night and I'm tucked into my mosquito net for the night. I'm listening to some music, I just read a great devotion, and looked at the picture of me and Mitchell that acts as my bookmark. It made me realize once again how much I miss him. It's A LOT. I'm really missing my family a ton right now. My mom called me on Wednesday night and told me GG was not doing well at all and they didn't even know if she was going to make it through the night. My family flew out to Cali to say their goodbyes, I haven't heard anymore from them yet... And here I am, stuck in Peru. I can't do anything. This is the third family member that has died since I've been here... I haven't gotten "the call" yet but i have this feeling that it's coming all too soon... I just don't even know how to feel or how to grieve here... There is not a time or place. I mean, the other SM's have been/try to be supportive but it's just not the same. All I want to do is be with my family.. I miss them SSOOOO much. May first could not get here soon enough... My parents always tell me I'm strong and I can do it and I need to stay focused on my work here but it's so hard. I feel lost and helpless.. I can't really even find the right words to explain how I feel...
call.
February 10, 2011
Sometimes I really don't understand God's plan. I don't know how much more i can handle.
Last night I got a call from my mom. She told me GG (my great grandma) is not doing well at all, and she wasn't sure if she'd make it thru the night. I knew that she had been a bit weak lately and my parents told me that she fell on Monday but i just didn't expect her to go down hill that fast. She's always been so strong. I just always saw her as one of those people that you think is invincible. She's 96 and amazing. And she has always been so supportive to my mom and it kills me to think that my mom is really left with no one now... No parents or grandparents... I just feel so lost and helpless here. i can't be there with my family, I can't say good bye, I can't even grieve here... When i came back into the house last night after I had talked to my mom everyone was there and they immediately saw that something was wrong. They all just sat with me while i cried. Everyone was quiet, but I felt amazing support from them in that moment.
I just feel so weak. I want to go home so bad and I've been trying to have a good attitude about staying here and then this happens... This is the third family member who has died since I've been here. My friend Driska (who was more like a grandma to me) died just a couple weeks after I got here, my uncle died just a couple months ago, and now GG. I just don't get it. I don't even know how to explain how i feel.... I feel like I don't know how to grieve because i've never had the time to do it. Life just goes on and you have to go on with it. It's not like things will pause for you while you mourn the loss of a loved one. I hate it. I hate having to act like I'm ok. And I don't even know how to act. I feel so lost- I'm not ok but i feel like I'm supposed to be. I just don't know.....
On a completely different note, I did assist in a cool surgery today. There was a man with a tumor on the inside of his thigh and we removed it. It was pretty high up, so we were working in a "personal" area if you know what I mean.. I'm grateful for my work this summer- it got me accustomed to many things. So anyway- we made the first cut on the tumor and Cecilia squeezed it and a bunch of NASTY pussy, fatty white gunk came out. I mean, there was a lot!! And let me tell you- it smelled horendous!! I'm going to be blunt- it smelled like rotten period smell. Sorry, but it's true and it was awful. Cecilia and I both has masks on too. Ugh. GROSS. After the inital cutting and squeezing part Steph and Jonathan came in and watched and helped us.Cecilia cut the capsule out and then we sewed him back up. There are soo many things that I have done here that I never thought I would experience. I guess that's the beauty of being an SM. :)
Sometimes I really don't understand God's plan. I don't know how much more i can handle.
Last night I got a call from my mom. She told me GG (my great grandma) is not doing well at all, and she wasn't sure if she'd make it thru the night. I knew that she had been a bit weak lately and my parents told me that she fell on Monday but i just didn't expect her to go down hill that fast. She's always been so strong. I just always saw her as one of those people that you think is invincible. She's 96 and amazing. And she has always been so supportive to my mom and it kills me to think that my mom is really left with no one now... No parents or grandparents... I just feel so lost and helpless here. i can't be there with my family, I can't say good bye, I can't even grieve here... When i came back into the house last night after I had talked to my mom everyone was there and they immediately saw that something was wrong. They all just sat with me while i cried. Everyone was quiet, but I felt amazing support from them in that moment.
I just feel so weak. I want to go home so bad and I've been trying to have a good attitude about staying here and then this happens... This is the third family member who has died since I've been here. My friend Driska (who was more like a grandma to me) died just a couple weeks after I got here, my uncle died just a couple months ago, and now GG. I just don't get it. I don't even know how to explain how i feel.... I feel like I don't know how to grieve because i've never had the time to do it. Life just goes on and you have to go on with it. It's not like things will pause for you while you mourn the loss of a loved one. I hate it. I hate having to act like I'm ok. And I don't even know how to act. I feel so lost- I'm not ok but i feel like I'm supposed to be. I just don't know.....
On a completely different note, I did assist in a cool surgery today. There was a man with a tumor on the inside of his thigh and we removed it. It was pretty high up, so we were working in a "personal" area if you know what I mean.. I'm grateful for my work this summer- it got me accustomed to many things. So anyway- we made the first cut on the tumor and Cecilia squeezed it and a bunch of NASTY pussy, fatty white gunk came out. I mean, there was a lot!! And let me tell you- it smelled horendous!! I'm going to be blunt- it smelled like rotten period smell. Sorry, but it's true and it was awful. Cecilia and I both has masks on too. Ugh. GROSS. After the inital cutting and squeezing part Steph and Jonathan came in and watched and helped us.Cecilia cut the capsule out and then we sewed him back up. There are soo many things that I have done here that I never thought I would experience. I guess that's the beauty of being an SM. :)
Monday, January 31, 2011
whack.
January 30, 2011
So, if I could pick any place in the world to be sick it would definitely not be Peru!! I’ve been sick since Friday and it is now Sunday and I still feel miserable. Friday night I had a fever of 102.5, then Sabbath I just felt awful all day. I woke up this morning feeling a bit better but I think I pushed it too much today and now I feel yucky again. I’ve been feeling dizzy, nauseous, and having diarrhea. It’s all just very pleasant. NOT. I want to be home so bad. I don’t have my mommy here to take care of me and I have to live in this gross scum hole and I don’t feel like I’ll ever get better! (side note: I don’t hate Peru, but our backyard right now is pretty much like a swamp scum hole because we’ve had a lot of rain lately.) And so every time I have to do business I have to trek thru the swamp to our oh-so-disgusting outhouse. Ugh, don’t even ask me about it. Haha it’s SOOO gross. Then after I’ve lost all I’ve just eaten/drank then I have to trek back to my bed and try not to slip and fall in the slime. When I get back to my bed I to fight the mosquito net and the slowly lay down because I’m about as strong as a piece of spaghetti. And when I lay down I still feel dizzy and nauseous. Feel sorry for me yet?? Haha
Ok, I’m done with my pitty party. But I’m serious about the whole don’t get sick in Peru thing. IT SUCKS!! So needless to say I don’t have a lot to share with you about the past few days… I mean I figure you probably already know more than you wanted to about my ailments.
Living in Peru has taught me enough things that I think I could fill a book. I can’t even begin to explain it. I was reflecting on my experiences yesterday in order to keep my thoughts occupied with something other than my stomach, and I decided some things. This has been the hardest best year of my life. I would not trade my experiences for anything, but I would not do this again. Nine months is a lot longer than some people think. Every student missionary has a VERY DIFFERENT experience so don’t compare yourself to others or expect your experience to be anything like theirs. IT WON’T BE. Pucallpa, Peru is a lovely place with lovely people, but I do not want to live here. I enjoy delivery babies and starting IV’s. I enjoy learning Spanish and practicing with local people. I don’t like living in dirt all the time and I’m really tired of our DISGUSTING outhouse. (have I mentioned that it’s disgusting?!) Different people bring different elements to a team and when you have to live with the same people for 9 months straight you learn that you need A LOT of patience. You also learn that there are some really great people who were just as crazy as you for doing this for a year, and it’s fun because you bond with them in a way that no one else will understand. I have learned to become flexible, flowing like water, thru every situation. And yes, it’s still hard sometimes. When you do this you learn soooo much about yourself- perhaps some things you wish you hadn’t learned… God is bigger and stronger than anyone or anything. And I’ve learned that I’m a lot strong than I thought I was…
And there are many more that I could put on my list, but I think that will suffice for tonight. Plus it’s about time to visit that wretched outhouse :(
So, if I could pick any place in the world to be sick it would definitely not be Peru!! I’ve been sick since Friday and it is now Sunday and I still feel miserable. Friday night I had a fever of 102.5, then Sabbath I just felt awful all day. I woke up this morning feeling a bit better but I think I pushed it too much today and now I feel yucky again. I’ve been feeling dizzy, nauseous, and having diarrhea. It’s all just very pleasant. NOT. I want to be home so bad. I don’t have my mommy here to take care of me and I have to live in this gross scum hole and I don’t feel like I’ll ever get better! (side note: I don’t hate Peru, but our backyard right now is pretty much like a swamp scum hole because we’ve had a lot of rain lately.) And so every time I have to do business I have to trek thru the swamp to our oh-so-disgusting outhouse. Ugh, don’t even ask me about it. Haha it’s SOOO gross. Then after I’ve lost all I’ve just eaten/drank then I have to trek back to my bed and try not to slip and fall in the slime. When I get back to my bed I to fight the mosquito net and the slowly lay down because I’m about as strong as a piece of spaghetti. And when I lay down I still feel dizzy and nauseous. Feel sorry for me yet?? Haha
Ok, I’m done with my pitty party. But I’m serious about the whole don’t get sick in Peru thing. IT SUCKS!! So needless to say I don’t have a lot to share with you about the past few days… I mean I figure you probably already know more than you wanted to about my ailments.
Living in Peru has taught me enough things that I think I could fill a book. I can’t even begin to explain it. I was reflecting on my experiences yesterday in order to keep my thoughts occupied with something other than my stomach, and I decided some things. This has been the hardest best year of my life. I would not trade my experiences for anything, but I would not do this again. Nine months is a lot longer than some people think. Every student missionary has a VERY DIFFERENT experience so don’t compare yourself to others or expect your experience to be anything like theirs. IT WON’T BE. Pucallpa, Peru is a lovely place with lovely people, but I do not want to live here. I enjoy delivery babies and starting IV’s. I enjoy learning Spanish and practicing with local people. I don’t like living in dirt all the time and I’m really tired of our DISGUSTING outhouse. (have I mentioned that it’s disgusting?!) Different people bring different elements to a team and when you have to live with the same people for 9 months straight you learn that you need A LOT of patience. You also learn that there are some really great people who were just as crazy as you for doing this for a year, and it’s fun because you bond with them in a way that no one else will understand. I have learned to become flexible, flowing like water, thru every situation. And yes, it’s still hard sometimes. When you do this you learn soooo much about yourself- perhaps some things you wish you hadn’t learned… God is bigger and stronger than anyone or anything. And I’ve learned that I’m a lot strong than I thought I was…
And there are many more that I could put on my list, but I think that will suffice for tonight. Plus it’s about time to visit that wretched outhouse :(
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